Never Settle: Some Thoughts...

Sometimes I am overwhelmed by all of the issues and ideas in the world. I feel that it is impossible to do them all justice while just trying to get through the day. So much baggage comes with each day by simply waking up. Thoughts on how to combat white privilege, and live sustainably and simply, and be culturally aware and sensitive, and just get out the door while tackling all of these thoughts can be exhausting. It reminds me of how on my return from France I could never put those cultural lessons behind me. I had learned concepts and been introduced to ideas and philosophies that would now be inextricable from how I lived my life. You can’t forget what you have been taught to be aware of each day.

The lessons I have learned from LVC have much of the same impact. These new areas of awareness: white privilege, systematic racism, working with trans people, socioeconomic inequality-will always be a part of my lifestyle. Sometimes I wish I was more educated on these subjects in a formal way-like a discussion based small class where I could really get into the nitty-gritty of these ideas, read scholarly articles and discuss them, and have a guideline on how to address these topics and continue my lifelong learning. So often I feel that I am introduced to these new ideas with an expectation that I already know what they are, or will somehow adapt very quickly to these new cultural mindsets. Not to say I feel inadequate in addressing these concepts, but I wish I felt more comfortable and more prepared to do so. While I do have my community of housemates to work with, and engage in these discussions with, it is times like these that I miss my Denison-style learning environment. An entire classroom community dedicated to answering these tough questions in honest and open dialogue. A friendly four-walled space with no assumptions or unrealistic expectations, except the general agreement that you are there to learn.

I also find in tackling these subjects that they aren’t ones you normally discuss in everyday conversations. The odds of sitting down to coffee with someone and after talking about “how is your day” and “how awesome was that show last night” are you going to say “so, how have you seen white privilege today? What are you doing to actively work against that?”-it’s just not the tone of conversation we have as a society. And so it can be difficult to find the right time and space to bring these issues to the forefront. You don’t want to treat these ideas lightly and throw the question out there at random, because the reception and ensuing conversation will not be of value. The timing has to be right, the people should be those that you trust and value, and you have to be open to the conversation going in a myriad of directions.

For me, above all, it is hard to overcome the want to not be ignorant. It is hard for me in general to admit I am not familiar with a concept or know how something works (struggles of a lifetime perfectionist), but I find it especially grating when it comes to these sensitive and timely concepts. These are issues that my generation is actively discussing, rallying, and dealing with in our daily lives. It is simply naïve to think your life isn’t affected by racism or some kind of ism. It is hard to admit you are on either end of these issues-perpetrator or victim. We don’t want to see ourselves in such boxed-in roles. People think we should be or are in a “post-racist” society, but that is not the case, and we should stop pretending that it is reality.

Now, I am not trying to act like I know what all of these ideas are, or have accurate definitions, or spend every hour of my waking day with other young active liberals talking through these issues. What I am asserting is this: I am open to discussion. I want to ask difficult, uncomfortable questions, and receive difficult, uncomfortable answers. And try to be okay with not knowing the right answer all the time. And admit that I am learning, and will be for the rest of my life. And know that these ideas and conflicts will not leave my life next July when my LVC time comes to an end, so I will continue to embrace these new facets of who I am becoming, and let them be a part of my daily routine. And above all, to take this learning in stride, and not let all of the questions overwhelm me but rather enrich me.

And now some pretty pictures to lighten the mood...